We’re in this for the long haul, it would seem. If the PM’s new public health adviser has her way, Malaysians will have to avoid mass gatherings and continue to practice social distancing for between six and nine months after the movement control order (MCO) is lifted.

This comes as two more buildings are placed under enhanced MCO and three more districts join the red zone list, while the government is mulling different rules for different zones after the MCO is relaxed.

With more people being thrown into jail for breaching the MCO, there’s legit concern that it’s only a matter of time before Covid-19 rears its ugly head in prisons here.

In other news, the country records more coronavirus cases and deaths while the Health Ministry worries about returning Malaysians importing new infections.

Will we see a third phase of the Movement Control Order (MCO)? It all depends on how we do in the next week.

In other coronavirus-related news, a PM, a former PM and a man who looks like he will never be PM all made their presence felt; AirAsia appears to be in big trouble financially; and, two senior ministers will head a special committee that will look into how to best balance economic priorities and the need to enforce the MCO. Oh, and we have a new special envoy to the Middle East.

Two ministries caused a lot of concern yesterday. One took us back to the Stone Age by advising women to, basically, please their men during these trying times, while another wanted Ramadan bazaars to continue despite the inherent risks posed by Covid-19.

Meanwhile, the numbers continue to rise as six more people died of Covid-19 yesterday, while efforts are still ongoing to trace 87 participants of the Sulawesi tabligh now considered “high risk”.

And lastly – would you believe that today marks the first anniversary of our little newsletter? We’ve gone from a small batch of 30 people to over a thousand subscribers today and we just want to say thanks to each and every one of you for being with us on this journey.

PM Muhyiddin promised a stimulus plan for all Malaysians, and for the most part, that’s exactly what he seems to have delivered. But do we have enough money to stimulate the economy to the tune of RM250 billion?

Elsewhere, Hulu Langat gets locked down, while Malaysia registers a bunch of unwanted records as the number of Covid-19 cases continues to go up and up.

The movement control order (MCO) has been extended and we’ll all be stuck at home till April 14, at the very least. It’s a necessary move, but also one that will hammer our economy and cause the loss of 2.4 million jobs.

Meanwhile, the country saw its deadliest day yesterday with five Covid-19 patients dying, bringing the total death toll to 20. And the worst may yet to be as the Health Ministry confirmed what a research house had said previously – that there’s the possibility the infection rate could peak next month at 6,000 cases or more.

And this is a crucial PSA: Blood bank supplies are dwindling. The National Blood Centre is appealing for donors to come forward and replenish supplies. It has also released a list of dos and don’ts for blood donation during the pandemic. Come on, folks. Let’s do what we can! Also, please forward this email via Whatsapp or social media so more people are aware of the blood shortage.

Also, we hope you guys are coping as well as can be expected with Covid-19 and the MCO. Drop us an email to let us know how you’re keeping yourselves from going nuts at home (we could use the advice!). But most importantly: stay safe, stay strong.

Pockets have been hit hard by Covid-19 and the Movement Control Order. And shockingly, the government now wants workers to dip into their own savings to deal with the loss of revenue.

Elsewhere, Malaysia registers a record increase of Covid-19 cases and sees many more deaths.

Lastly, if all this social distancing is making you miss your fellow humans, you may want to head over to Twitter. Yes, we know it can be full of horrible nonsense sometimes, but it also has Juan Mata’s sweetness, Jim Carrey’s weirdness, Patrick Stewart’s artsiness, random time-wasting games, music playlist suggestions and just delightfully weird humour. Enjoy.

While the overall compliance with the movement control order (MCO) seems to have improved, apparently it’s still not enough and warnings have started coming out that the army may have to be called in to help enforce the orders. So don’t be surprised if you finding yourself staring down the barrel of a tank soon.

Also, our most famous Malaysian – Dr Mahathir Mohamad – has gone into self-quarantine after coming into contact with an infected MP.

Meanwhile, the government has announced some additional financial efforts in the war against Covid-19 and politicians continue to engage in more finger-pointing, even as the country continues its march to that now inevitable 1,000-case mark.

Lastly, this is important so we’re putting it right up here. The WHO has warned people NOT to take ibuprofen if you’re showing Covid-19 symptoms as it could worsen the disease.

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Two people diagnosed with Covid-19 died yesterday, the first deaths in the country since the virus was detected on our shores. Meanwhile, 120 more cases were detected, most of which were linked to the Sri Petaling mosque cluster.

A few things were clarified about the movement control order issued by the government, with the National Security Council also putting out a FAQ to help those still dazed and confused about things.

But most irritating is that even with a fatal pandemic sweeping through the globe, our politicians can’t seem to stop their stupid, petty politicking. Read on to find out what we’re talking about.

If you thought Covid-19 was scary earlier, the weekend would’ve definitely given you the heebie-jeebies. A spate of new infections were confirmed, nearly doubling the total number of people struck down in the country.

Elsewhere, catfights over the new government continue and a news reporter comes under a disgusting attack thanks to a social media post by one of our new ministers.

The search is on for 5,000 Malaysians who participated in a recent religious gathering attended by a Bruneian with Covid-19, which has now been declared a global pandemic by the World Health Organisation.

Meanwhile, PM8 Muhyiddin Yassin and his some of his ministers announced a number of decisions made during the first Cabinet meeting of the Perikatan gomen; ex-PM Dr Mahathir Mohamad is blaming everyone but himself for the fall of the Pakatan gomen; and, the SRC International graft trial of another former PM, Najib Razak, has ended with the defence resting its case.

PM Muhyiddin Yassin has finally announced his Cabinet line-up and while certain scandal-tainted leaders are, thankfully, missing, the new team does definitely looks more Bumi-Malaysia than Malaysian-Malaysia.

Elsewhere in today’s newsletter, the Perak state government finally falls, and the number of Covid-19 cases in the country spikes to 117.

After the AG quit, it was only a matter of time before the other major Maddey Mohamad appointee, MACC head Latheefa Koya, would resign too. And so she did, according to various news organisations yesterday. It’s yet another consequence of the political turmoil we’ve been experiencing recently.

In other news, a former minister claims RM2 million is chump change for him; seven new provinces have been added to a travel ban and five new cases of Covid-19 have been detected; and, Latheefa is again in the news, this time testifying in court at Najib Razak’s trial.

The Wuhan coronavirus continues to plague our shores, with seven new Covid-19 cases being reported yesterday. It’s the biggest jump in a single day – and we don’t even have a health minister now! It’s now 36 cases in Malaysia, following a global trend of rapidly escalating infections outside of China.

Meanwhile, just in: The first Parliament session for the year will convene on May 18 instead of March 9 as initially scheduled. BTL will have more on that tomorrow. In other news, our political imbroglio continues to hog the headlines, while we hear testimony from Jho Low himself (well, not in person) about his role (or lack thereof, he claims) in the billions we lost through SRC International and 1MDB.

In the past week, we’ve had a PM, a PM-in-waiting, an interim PM and now a new PM. But while everybody expected the new PM to be the either the same guy as the old PM or even the PM-in-waiting (who may now never be PM), nobody thought it would actually be another guy who was once DPM.

So how exactly did Muhyiddin Yassin, the man whom few thought was eying the top job, become Malaysia’s 8th Prime Minister? And who got screwed in the process? Some may say it’s Mahathir, others may say it’s Anwar. But what most people seem to feel is that it’s us, the people, who got shafted.

And while it looks like it’s been settled, for better or worse, there may still be more drama to come, what with Pakatan Harapan and its allies looking to push forward a no-confidence vote in Parliament. Which means the ex-PM is still hoping to become the next PM.

It’s more or less official. It’s either Dr Mahathir Mohamad or Anwar Ibrahim. Maddey issued a nationally-televised statement yesterday saying he intended to form a non-partisan government which would put national interests first.

Meanwhile, the twice-ordained successor to Mahathir, Anwar, responded by saying Pakatan MPs had put him forward to the King as the next PM.

Right now, everything is still on a knife edge and the race is on between the septuagenarian and the nonagenarian to see who’ll be the next big boss.

First off – iklan sekejap. We added almost 200 new subscribers over the past couple of days. Welcome to our new readers, and a YUGE thank you to Daphne Iking, Revathy Mariappan, Alan Soon and Koh Aun Qi for plugging us on social media, and Erin Cook for saying nice things about us on your newsletter.

Anyway to the news! As things stand, Dr Mahathir, the 7th Malaysian PM – who was also the 4th PM – has resigned from office. However, the Yang di-Pertuan Agong has since made him caretaker PM (does that make him PM 7+ or PM 7S?), and there is a chance that we could even see the good doctor returning as the country’s 8th PM!

Confused? Well, we are too. Because let’s face it, NO ONE in Malaysia right now apart from the 7th/4th/caretaker PM a.k.a. Duli Yang Maha Mulia Dr Mahathir Mohamad really knows what the hell is going on.

Unlike our usual love notes to you, today’s newsletter focuses just on this one story. Because let’s face it, that’s the only thing on anybody’s lips right now. Please, please, please click on the icons below to share this on your social media and Whatsapp groups because with the deluge of news right now, context and clarity is more important than ever.

As expected, the Pakatan Harapan presidential council meeting tonight was much talked about yesterday, with Anwar himself commenting, threats (veiled and not so veiled) being levied and allegations of different statutory declarations (we really do love our SDs) being bandied about.

In other news, we take a look at the expected rise in inflation as the Covid-19 outbreak takes a toll on global oil prices, and a hodge-podge of trials involving some famous and not-so-famous people.

Today’s three main offerings are no laughing matter, so if you find that our newsletter is a little lacking in its usual wit (if we do say so ourselves) and sarcasm, please do forgive us.

The “sale” of Tabung Haji assets is our main focus, but we also cover stories on the an inquiry into the disappearance of a married couple that remind us of the “enforced disappearances” of Pastor Raymond Koh and social activist Amri Che Mat, as well as the threat to Orang Asli heritage lands and the natural habitat of countless species of flora and fauna in Selangor.

A new Federal Court decision on illegitimate Muslim children seems to have answered one question but thrown up others. What exactly are the issues surrounding this case?

Elsewhere in today’s newsletter, a construction site mishap in Kuala Lumpur has raised concerns about the safety of projects, and Malaysia has barred cruise ships from docking here for fear they may be bringing Covid-19 into the country.

Bad news, folks. EPF will likely not pay out too high a dividend for 2019, a victim of its own growth as well as the unlikelihood that its investments can do better in Q4 of last year than the 20 previous quarters. And in case that hasn’t depressed you enough, here’s more: the picture of our economy ain’t too rosy, either.

Also, the tourism industry is a massive loser, thanks to the coronavirus outbreak; Rosie Mansor has a fit (what else is new?); and, yet another SD is allegedly about to come into the scene in Malaysia.

Resign! That’s what PM Mahathir wants Donald Trump to do. But is the good doc going a bit far in poking this particular beast?

Elsewhere, a former minister tells of how he was belittled and pressured by folks linked to Rosie Mansor, and four works of art get removed from the National Art Gallery for apparently being obscene and offensive.

Two witnesses at the corruption trial of Mama Rosmah Mansor, the wife of former PM Najib Razak, provided some rather damning testimony against her yesterday.

In other news, talk of Umno jumping into bed with PM Maddey seem to be getting louder; while the Malaysian who was the first one diagnosed with the Wuhan virus has passed it on to his younger sister.

And, to all our Hindu friends – Happy Thaipusam. Vel Vel!

Malaysia now has its first case of a local contracting the novel coronavirus. The man was in Singapore towards the end of last month and was only diagnosed a couple of days ago!

In other news, allegations of graft involving AirAsia has seen it lose a huge amount of moolah, Jibby Razak is swearing again while wifey Rosie is in hospital and Pakistan makes an unfulfillable a big promise.

An investigation into corruption and bribery involving European plane manufacturer Airbus has implicated lotsa airlines. And among them are Malaysia’s very own AirAsia and AirAsia X.

In other news, PM Maddey says Science and Maths will be taught in English again, and we head to Wuhan to bring our people home.

Apparently, DAP has apparently reached a consensus to quit the government should the Unified Examination Certificate issue is not resolved to their liking. And in PKR, meanwhile, supporters of Zuraida Kamaruddin claim thousands of grassroots members will quit should the party veep be sacked. Things like these make us want to quit the country!

Meanwhile, it seems the only thing not quitting is the novel coronavirus, despite progress being made in the search for a vaccine/cure.

Gong Xi Fa Cai to everyone celebrating the lunar new year. We hope you had a wonderful time with family and friends, and we wish you good fortune, prosperity and peace in the year of the metal rat.

As for the news, with 80-plus people reportedly dead in China and thousands more infected across the globe, no other story commanded more attention over the long weekend than the Wuhan coronavirus outbreak. That’s why in today’s newsletter, we decided to zero in on the crisis and look at what’s been happening here and in Wuhan, what people can do (and what you absolutely mustn’t!), and how the outbreak could have a major impact on the economies of China and the world.

Bank Negara Malaysia has decided to cut the country’s Overnight Policy Rate by 25 basis points to 2.75%. But what exactly does this mean for the average Malaysian? Is it good or bad?

In other news, Najib Razak finally gets his (signature expert’s) day in court and no one seems to be listening to poor eternal bridesmaid Anwar Ibrahim.

PM Dr Mahathir Mohamad says he never labelled Pakatan Harapan a one-term government? But are they, really? And if yes, is there time to change that?

In other news, the Youth and Sports Minister swears he didn’t attend no drug party, and India’s curbs on refined palm oil may just screw us. Big time.

PM Mahathir Mohamad has officially announced that highway concessionaire PLUS will not be sold. However, the juiciest part of this whole affair is the leader of another highway company calling the Khazanah MD a bald-faced liar, the company a thief, and the government stupid for not selling. Damn, son!

Elsewhere, Maddey’s first act as interim Education Minister seems to miss the most important point of providing free and nutritious breakfast for all schoolchildren, while a witness in the Najib Razak-Arul Kanda 1MDB audit report tampering trial sticks to her guns despite pressure from the defence.

Jakim’s gone and made a boo-boo by wrongly labelling Ponggal a religious festival. And the Education Ministry has compounded things by banning Muslim students from taking part in any celebrations of the festival. The combined brilliantness of both departments has, of course, irked (and that’s putting it mildly) Indians in Malaysia.

In other news, Anwar Ibrahim has dodged a bullet in the form of sexual misconduct allegations, and MACC chief commissioner Lat Koya has lodged a report on an alleged criminal plot against her.

G25, that group of eminent ex-top Malay civil servants, has launched a report on the administration of Islam in the country. And now some folks want them investigated – or better yet, banned, for apparently attempting to destroy Islam.

In other news, the once and current PM has appointed himself Acting Education Minister, and election watchdog Bersih is pissed that its advice on playing fair in Kimanis has gone unheeded.

The Cabinet has come out to lambast anyone trying to undermine national unity by playing up racial and religious sentiment. This came in reaction to a letter from a lawyer who threatened a school over its Chinese New Year decorations. But why did this guy get the space to make such threats in the first place?

In other news, the MACC created a sensation by releasing audio clips allegedly proving a high-level conspiracy involving several people, including dear old Jibby Razak; Zuraida Kamaruddin has been likened to the Angel of Death (well, not outright); and, things are getting heated in the race for the Kimanis parliamentary seat.

Boy oh boy, was it a day of BS in Malaysia yesterday. First we had Jho Low happily bluffing (allegedly, allegedly!) his way through an interview with Singaporean stenography company, The Straits Times.

But it wasn’t just that – there’s a faint whiff of something pungent in what the Health Ministry has been saying about influenza cases in the country. But what really takes the dung cake, is how ex-PM Najib Razak got caught with his pants down, BS-ing in the worst possible place to do so – the courtroom. Fun times!

The Saudis are apparently pissed that Malaysia is courting a trio of its enemies by hosting the leaders of Qatar, Turkey and Iran at the KL Summit. How does this affect the average Malaysian hoping to perform his or her haj?

In other news, Jibby Razak plays dumb at his SRC trial; the Prisons Department of course denies that convicted Altantuya murderer Azilah Hadri was allowed out to meet a VVIP; and, a supposedly obscene ad was ordered taken down by KL City Hall.

It’s lies, Najib Razak says! All lies! But is there something in convicted murderer Azilah Hadri’s allegation that the order to kill Mongolian model Altantuya Shaariibuu came from Jib?

Elsewhere in today’s newsletter, Anwar Ibrahim’s accuser says he’s willing to submit to a lie detector test, NST, Berita Harian and Harian Metro are letting go of some 500-plus people, and we’ll be kicking off 2020 with another by-election.

If Pakatan Harapan knows what’s good for them, they’ll pay attention to a survey which shows that they have a very slim lead over Muafakat Nasional, which is increasingly favoured by many population segments in the country.

In other news, the Dewan Rakyat Speaker says MPs have nothing to fear but fear itself in declaring their assets (unless they’re dodgy?), while Anwar Ibrahim is calling for PKR members to stop talking about his little tiff with Azmin Ali.

Rafizi Ramli, strategist extraordinaire for PKR and engineer of the Kajang Move, is sulking away from politics, apparently cos he wasn’t feeling the love from fellow Pakatan members. But we doubt this will be the last we see of him.

In other news, Dr Mahathir Mohamad is earning in one month more than most Malaysians make in a year; Loving husband Najib Razak bought wifey Rosmah Mansor a RM500K watch as a make up gift; and, the PKR rift shows no signs of abating.

It threatened to be a tale of two PKR congresses and in the end, after the fisticuffs, walkouts and smack talk, that’s exactly what we got. Well, kinda.

Elsewhere, Umno also held its annual congress (and, actually, so did Amanah), A-G Tommy T isn’t sure what the heck is going on in his own damn chambers, and news of a former “Daim boy” gearing up to take over PLUS suggests that happy days crony capitalism may be here again.

Surely this can’t be happening again? Right before the start of the PKR National Congress, party president Anwar Ibrahim has been hit by allegations of sexual misconduct against a former aide.

Meanwhile, PKR Youth’s vice-chief says a hitherto unconfirmed meeting, said to be of Azmin Ali’s supporters, will definitely take place in KL at the same time as the national congress; the gomen has suddenly and mysteriously decided to up the allocation for TAR University College despite insisting otherwise earlier; and, Najib Razak continued his arresting testimony at his own trial.

It’s official. Another by-election is coming our way. And the big question is whether Kimanis 2019 will see Barisan Nasional (or is that Muakafat Nasional?) continue its winning streak.

Elsewhere in the news, the Anti-Fake News Act threatens to make a comeback, and the Auditor-General’s latest report shines a light on just how deep in doodoo KTMB and a bunch of other Finance Ministry-owned companies are.

Should we be worried that ISIS may try to set up shop in Southeast Asia? Well, a former Jemaah Islamiyah militant thinks we should, but a terrorism expert claims otherwise, even while talking about the terror group’s so-called East Asian Province of the Philippines. So which is it then?

In other news, PM Mahathir Mohamad thinks people are worrying too much about a dead man’s cremains (yes, that’s a real word!), the Opposition is worrying about the IPCMC and a new survey finds that Malaysians worry too much.

The national basketball association has cocked up big time and everyone is up in arms about it. The question is – is the reaction fair and expected, or is it over the top?

In other news, a university graduate gets into trouble for a Nazi salute while the schism within PKR just continues to grow and grow, as if we expected anything less. And, lastly, a great leap forward in our national education system (we hope).

He may be the PM-in-waiting but Anwar Ibrahim doesn’t want a Cabinet post right now. Nope. His plan, it seems, is to just waltz into the role of leader of Malaysia once Dr M’s called time.

Elsewhere in the news, despite the deadline having long passed, Opposition lawmakers have yet to declare their assets. Also, the data’s clear: Malaysian women earn less than men.

For at least the third time since Pakatan took over the reins of the country, a Dewan Rakyat session was delayed thanks to a lack of quorum. We have 222 MPs, yet we can’t even get 24 of these people to sit down quietly for a while and try to solve our problems. Potong gaji, we say.

Meanwhile, Anwar Ibrahim has kind of issued a warning asking Azmin Ali to stop the backdoor politics; we learn that the original audit report on 1MDB was shredded; and, we pay tribute to the nation’s leading news organisation.

The former PM and DPM were both in court on Monday. But despite the prospect of backstabbing in Jibby Razak’s case, it was Zahid Hamidi, facing allegations of stealing from the poor, who claimed the spotlight.

Also in the news, the fallout from Tanjung Piai continues with a shocked PM and a late night not-so-secret meeting at Azmin Ali’s house.

Don’t go spending lavishly next year. Inflation is gonna rise and your salary increment may not be as good as first expected.

In other news, the Finance Minister has been whacked for withholding funding for a university college under MCA, while Hishammuddin Hussein serves up a shocker by siding with PM Mahathir Mohamad instead of his cousin, Najib Razak

Regardless of how shocked he (or anyone else) may be, the court’s decided that Najib Razak will have to enter his defence for all seven charges related to SRC International.

Also in the news, the US aviation regulator downgrades Malaysia’s air safety rating, and Dr M re-enters the political Islam battlefield with Umno, this time, in his crosshairs.

Rilek lah, said AG Tommy Thomas to people who’ve been calling for his sacking following a decision to drop two additional charges against a DAP assemblyman for alleged links to a defunct militant organisation.

In other news, a Cambodian politicians detention here became a political hot potato. Meanwhile, once-loved electoral watchdog Bersih is slammed by Muhyiddin Yassin for making a statement which only makes sense.

Five of the men detained for allegedly supporting a defunct militant group have had a writ of habeas corpus thrown out on account of their “bodies” having already been dragged to court while another is seeking to declare a provision under Sosma unlawful.

In other news, an illegal rubbish dumpsite has been found full of foodpanda (and yes, their name isn’t capitalised) trash; Cyprus says it “mistakenly” gave Jho Low citizenship; and, Umno Youth speaks its usual nonsense.