The Old And The Restless

This past week has been a trying one, but, arguably, nowhere has it been worse than in Penang.

Amidst all the concerns that our great ‘let’s-vaccinate-80%-of-the-population’ campaign is moving at a snail’s pace, that lovely DAP utopia dropped a bombshell earlier this week: our evil federales were cruelly (allegedly! allegedly!) blocking a generous benefactor’s offer to supply 2 million doses of vaccine to Penang!

And if you think that was it, well, think again. It was just the first episode of a week-long telenovela starring Big Vaccine Kahuna Khairy Jamaluddin, Penang head honcho Chow Kon Yeow, DAP big boss N̶o̶b̶i̶t̶a̶ Lim Guan Eng and a mysterious chap named Yong Chee Kong.

If you haven’t had time to binge-watch the episodes, here’re the highlights:

*Takesadeepbreath*

Chow and Lim accuse Putrajaya of blocking a very kind offer of 2 million doses of Sinovac vaccine to Penang. A “very angry” DAP supremo Lim goes on the warpath, calling it a crime and asking why political donations can happen while vaccine donations can’t. Khairy, meanwhile, calls the entire thing a scam. The “donor”, Mr Yong, promises he’s the real deal, but KJ says na-uh, not till you show proof of the offer, which obviously never came. Meanwhile, Yong is approached by the media and makes several odd claims, which results in denials by Penang DAP, Yong being hauled up by police and Chow finally e̶a̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶p̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶d̶o̶s̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶h̶u̶m̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶p̶i̶e̶ apologising for the whole ruckus.

*Releasesbreath*

You can’t make this s#$% up.

Check out Fahmi’s previous cheeky art on the various MCOs and the confusing SOPs that inevitably follow, here.

Yes, we get that it’s extremely embarrassing for Penang leaders to have been duped by a scam (if true) like a desperate lonely heart falling for a “Nigerian prince“; or how the whole affair makes Beard Bro Jamaluddin look like Ebenezer Scrooge at Christmas time.

Yet it seems to us a lot of time and energy could’ve been saved (and embarrassment and headache avoided) if Khairy, Chow, Lim and Yong just got onto a Zoom call and hashed this thing out. The rakyat don’t need this sideshow attraction when the main issues, like how to deal with a collapsing healthcare system, growing fatalities and rising cases, are – like Covid-19 – still up in the air.

Our daily Covid numbers are higher than they’ve ever been (in the high 6,000s!), the daily death toll is getting worse (we’re averaging about 50 a day), and our hospitals are fast running out of ICU beds.

Heck! We’ve had more Covid deaths in the few months under the emergency than we did in the whole of 2020!

The sitch is so bad, some folks are actually calling for a full blanket lockdown à la Movement Control Order 1.0. (BT-Dubs, our glorious overlords have decided stricter measures will be enough for now).

So while all this crap is hitting every fan in sight, here’s a suggestion for our bickering bros: How about El Beardo focus on ensuring our vaccine rollout’s on track (and that means no more delays and queue jumping), while Chow look at keeping businesses afloat in his state? 

Or, here’s a novel c̶o̶r̶o̶n̶a̶v̶i̶r̶u̶s̶ idea…perhaps they could actually work together??!?