Between A Beer And A Hard Place

Thank you Anwar Ibrahim. 

With all the shit that’s been going on in Malaysia – you know, the out-of-control pandemic, the emergency, the screw-ups in Covid-19 SOPs and vaccination-related shenanigans – our erstwhile opposition leader and PM forever wannabe decided one thing above all others deserved his attention.

What was it? It wasn’t any of the things above. It wasn’t karipap, or Nescafe 3-in-1.

It was beer.

To bring you up to speed, it all started with a not very innocent tweet, one in which Anwar asked why singletons and the M40 group were being sidelined from gomen aid, and why Parliament was shut. All good points.

Oh, and he also slipped in a lil’ question about why alcohol factories were allowed to open.

What was that last bit? Mr PD’s point was that non-essential businesses were being allowed to operate during a supposed total lockdown, while other ‘essential’ things were not. Fair enuf, ‘cept he could’ve pointed out anything else, though, like soft drinks, cigarettes, chocolates, Milo — you know, all the unessential crap that’s still being sold on supermarket shelves, 7-11s and petrol stations.

But he chose alcohol (we’ll remember this during the next elections, Anwar old boy. You can bet on that). Why? ‘Cos he probably expected this to appeal him to a certain section of the electorate.

What it also achieved was to set in motion a chain of events that would have you laughing or crying, or — if you’re non-Muslim — probably needing a drink.

Read our Fahmi Reza x BTL commentary on the full, no-joke-this-time lockdown here.

First to jump on the outrage bandwagon was Amanah d̶o̶n̶k̶e̶y̶ youth leader, Kevin Shawn Gomez, who fanned the flames by “praising” PAS for their silence over this and for being part of a gomen that’s not Syariah compliant.

There was only one way this was gonna go after that, especially with a fluid political situation and the ever-present threat of an election (once Covid is over, we hope!). The PN gomen containing not 1, but 3 Muslim-led parties was never gonna allow anybody to question their Islamist credentials or to out-theocraticise (not sure that’s even a word!) them.

Barely a day after Gomez’s statement, our gomen announced all alcohol beverage-producing factories were to be shut.

Then it got worse. The next day, reports started coming out of a police raid at a store in Bangsar, with cops saying that all shops selling alcohol were to shut.

Now, shutting factories is one thing – let’s face it, alcohol is NOT “essential”. Few drinks and food truly are. But why target shops already allowed to operate? Alcohol itself doesn’t spread Covid, ya know!

That smacks of discrimination. And in a nation where identity and religious politics reign supreme, is it any wonder folks are calling out double standards?

But wait, it gets even worse. The deputy domestic trade minister – some joker called Rosol (no, we never heard of him before this either) – “explained” that while alcohol and cigarettes were deemed non-essential, ciggies were ‘essential (his words!) to addicted smokers. 

We really can’t make this shit up! 

Oh, and there’s more! Our U-turn specialists (seriously, this gomen has more U-turns than a Fast & Furious movie!) had one final U-ey in them! Rosol yesterday clarified thatthe booze ban only applies to factories and hooch shops. Kena marah la tu! Did somebody give Rosol a talking to? Who knows? Who cares?

Dear PM Muhyiddin & Co, at the end of the day, please know you’re not fooling anybody lah. We know why this is happening, and for what reason. It’s not even the first time you’re pulling a stupid stunt like this. Alcohol may not be essential, but the taxes alcohol companies pay certainly are!

But we really, honestly have bigger things to worry about now. We’ve had record numbers of cases, record numbers of deaths and a vaccine rollout that’s anything but smooth. 

So stop the politics and focus on your damn jobs, maybe? And remember that the most essential thing for you guys is to use the brains God gave you. THATis essential!